


Refuge

by anony_mouse



Series: Choose Well [3]
Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Genre: Books, Deals, EU, Gen, No Beta, gentry, the old English building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 02:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anony_mouse/pseuds/anony_mouse
Summary: Saudade (n.): a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves





	Refuge

There is always something- _someone_ \- that falls through the cracks.

A warning that is not whispered. A sign covered by an unfortunately timed passerby. An interrupted and lost tale. A tired mind and fuzzy eyes look past warnings in the gray hours.

(Sometimes it's coincidence and sometimes it’s Coincidence. Either way, it doesn't really matter much.)

Ember is looking for a place to study. He's been searching all day, but the lights in his room have gone out and the library crossroads are always blocking his path, no matter how he's tried to get in. The commons are full of whispers, if not people, and the Murder have claimed the grounds today. 

(He may be friendly with them, but he isn’t fool enough to think himself a Friend of the crows.)

He’s tired and stressed about an exam he has in three hours that he'd failed to study for. Not bad enough to be Desperate, but enough to be frustrated. Enough not to wonder about the quaint little building with the tiny door he finds behind the metalworker's shop. The one that’s tucked away so perfectly, he almost misses it.

It’s no one's fault Ember had caught the flu the day his freshman RA had spoken in quiet whispers and ramen salt wards of the Lost Building.

No one can be blamed for Ember's wandering feet as he tries to dodge the Crossroads and the Crows that day.

None can be faulted for the sign which had been broken by a falling tree the day before and not yet replaced.

The hapless sophomore would not be the first or last to have ignored the dangers of Convenience in favor of Not Asking when an exam was on the line.

Perhaps if he had been daring enough to wear Cat-Eye's sunglasses, he would have Seen the wrecked state of the building. Perhaps if he'd been less tired- coming off of three weeks straight of tiny mishaps and rushed exams- he would have felt the cloud of dread. Perhaps if he had been less relieved at the quiet, he would have noticed the absolute silence of the narrow halls. 

(Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.)

Perhaps Ember isn’t meant to notice. After all, so many many coincidences are possible, but unlikely. And illusions are rarely placed by mistake.

Ember tucks his sprig of mint more firmly behind his ear as he crosses the threshold and brushes his arm against the shape of an old, worn book in his bag. 

(Beliefs and Charms hold Power at Elsewhere and no matter how willing Ember is to ignore Suspicions, safe is better than sorry.)

The room at the end of the hall has shelves upon shelves of books, but somehow, it feels homey rather than overcrowded. The chairs are far softer than most campus seats- not quite theatre level, but close. (Only the best are accepted in the theatre, just in case. You never know when you might have an Audience of the Arts.)

Ember sets a timer (keeping time while studying is Important at Elsewhere) and begins his work (and if he’s more focused than usual, he can blame his urgency for not taking note.) Just as he finishes the last page of notes, mad panic abated, his alarm sounds, urging him on to his exam.

. 

He aces it. Only an hour of studying and he aced the second hardest test he's taken all year. He’s too giddy to question his luck.

(But not giddy enough to forget about the perfect building on the Western edge of school.)

The next time he needs to cram, his roommate's not-boyfriend is over making eyes and the Murder is out in force again and the Librarian is Out. (He's fairly certain that going to the Library when the Librarian is out is the worst idea he's ever heard. (He's not even sure it's possible.))

When he fits four hours of work into two hours of studying and gets another perfect score, he decides not to mention the Little Building to anyone (the surest way to lose a miracle at Elsewhere is to question it too deeply.)

((And he really needs help with his grades.))

He only ever goes when he's desperate, but it seems that he's pressed for time and lacking in space more and more often now. He's always busy and always unlucky, sending him to the shelter of quiet more frequently, but it doesn't seem like anything more than second semester rush until Oval makes a passing comment about how they haven't hung out in two months.

And then he starts paying attention.

To the fact that his exams and projects seem more and more last minute.

To the fact that the Crows don't come to steal his nuts anymore.

To the fact that he hasn't had any interactions with the Others since break- not even a passing conversation with Not-Jenna or even the more fae-touched students.

He skips his next exam, emailing his professor an apology and claiming illness.

The next day, he wakes up actually sick. 

With boils. Large, painful boils. The school nurse shakes his head when Ember assures him he's made no deals and offended no one, but he lets it drop. Instead, he gives the younger man a pouch to place under his bed for three days and nights and shoos him out of the room.

(Ember doesn't skip anymore tests.)

((He does grow a fresh mint plant though.))

He plays along and carries a bit more iron than usual and doesn't say anything because he's not sure what he's done or who (what) he's Encountered, but he definitely doesn't want to pull anyone else into this mess.

He spends every moment of summer break arguing with himself about returning to campus and ignoring the Looks his mother gives him. He knows, like all students, that the surest way to avoid escalation is to simply stay Away. 

But he's learned more in the last few months than in the last several years combined- better and faster too. (He's never enjoyed learning for the sake of it before.) But there's something about Elsewhere, about the Building, that intrigues him. But he wants to know _more_.

(But, but, but.)

He comes back.

((He's unsure if he made the right decision.))

He plays along, and as long as he performs his role perfectly, his schedule never becomes too intolerable. He never takes anything from the Building and he always goes when he is Called. His grades are better than ever, and though he has no desire to test it, he's fairly sure he could walk around campus free of any salt or iron and be alright anywhere except in the Building. (He's isn’t sure if he feels safer than ever or deeply uncomfortable with this.)

Junior year comes and goes and he's at the top of all his classes- anything he needs to know for any subject, he can find on the shelves in the room. Somehow, even senior year is practically a cake walk- he hardly has any exams and his research projects are all due at the end of semester. 

He finds himself drifting towards the Building most days anyways.

It’s two days before fall break when he finally dares to Enter without cause. He's got a string of garlic-ramen salt packets in each pocket and is wearing his iron earrings and two sprigs of mint behind his ear. He carries no weapons, and after much debate, leaves his Charm safely tucked away in his dorm. (He doesn't want to know what would happen if the old book was mistaken for a Gift.)

He carries only the first edition copy of an old series that he's noticed isn't on the shelves.

Ember reverently places the book on his usual chair and leaves without a word.

.

Nothing happens.

He makes sure to visit home over fall break, despite never having gone before, and thinks of the book every single day he's gone.

The day he returns from break, he races West, sans the extra salt and iron, but still wearing his second sprig of mint.

The book is gone and the room isn't locked, so he pulls out his worn copy of Dune, grinning wildly and relaxing in the chair nearest the window.

Graduation is approaching, but Ember's drive to move on seems to have melted away in the long days spent basking in the Building's perfect warmth, reading or sleeping or simply relaxing away hours that don't seem to have passed once he's left (he doesn’t always track his time in the Building anymore. It’s not the best idea, but he’s no longer sure how much he cares.)

He doesn't say anything to anyone, but he's noticed that no one speaks about him leaving anymore. No one asks what his plans for the future are. Even when he goes home for break, his parents are silent in the subject of occupations. No one pulls him aside and asks if he would like to meet them after Graduation off campus in a bright coffee shop far from the woods wearing the last of their protections and trading Names for the first time.

(He doesn't mind as much as he once would have.)

He receives his diploma and handshake. His father takes pictures and cries for his grown baby. His mother hugs him within an inch of his life and says nothing at all.

Only when they've packed their bags to go home does she pull him aside and ask if he's sure. He notices for the first time, that the flecks of blue around her eyes that he'd always thought was makeup look more like a part of her skin than glitter or paint. 

(He wonders distantly when his mother made a Deal and how he's never noticed before now.)

He turns to look Westward, feeling a sense of homesickness flood every inch of him and hugs his mother tighter than he ever has before. He presses a soft kiss to the blue on either side of her face and smiles, assuring her that he has never been more certain in his life.

He watches them drive away with a muffled sense of loss.

But the feeling fades as he turns back West with his copy of Dune and his last sprig of mint and makes his way to the Building.

He ignores the others, chattering excitedly as they look around campus one last time. 

(Or not- statistically speaking, some of them will come back, unable to resist the Call.)

((He's just ahead of the curve.))

The doorway which had seemed so tiny once now only looks like an invitation. The warm tones of the walls seem to radiate a soft glow, and the fragile decorations seem to sparkle. (Ember has never seen anything so beautiful in his life, he's sure.)

(He knows now what others See when they look at the Building.)

((It fills him with a sense of something to think that this beauty is for him alone to see. He thinks it may be joy.))

He sheds the last of his salt and iron that he’s worn like formalities around campus and for the first time, adds his sprigs of mint to the tiny pile on the threshold before entering. He's known for the whole last year that whatever Calls to him in the Building, it is neither Other, nor Crow. (He thinks it may be something more dangerous than either.) Salt and iron are useless to him here and he has no need for protective Beliefs anymore. 

Every step towards the room is measured and sure and when Ember carefully places his copy of Dune on the chair, there is a crackle that fills the air. It tastes like mint and anticipation.

The perfect heat of the room seems to swell hotter and hotter until it is positively suffocating. Color leeches from the world around him and a low rumble fills the air- the first sound he's ever heard here that he did not directly make- and for a fleeting moment, Ember wonders if this is the last thing he'll ever do. 

(He can't bring himself to think of it as a mistake, even now.)

And then, in a rush, the heat releases him and the comforting silence of the room returns all at once. He gasps for air and watches with something like satisfaction as color slowly filters back into his vision. 

Ember doesn't have a mirror to see that his eyes are now more gold than brown and he won’t notice for an embarrassingly long while that his nails grow in firmer and darker now. Or how his body temperature is far hotter than any living human's should be.

What he does feel is something deep within him, spiraling down down down to the heart of the earth, connecting him to the One who's Claimed him. Ember Knows what it is now. 

He's not sure why it's done this, why it's reached out now, when its never cared to play such games before. Nor does he actually care.

He does know that whatever the reasons, he Belongs here now.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: so I went a totally different route, but if anyone wants another story about what lies below the old English building, Problem_Seeker 's [story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817322) is pretty great
> 
> Elsewhere University belongs to @elsewhereuniversity and/or @charminglyantiquated. These are merely my longer submissions into the universe.
> 
> No beta. All mistakes are mine.


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